if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize