You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
