Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
