I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the day after is always just damage control
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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