Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize