i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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