You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Can I color on your dick again?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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