Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break