How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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