i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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