Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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