Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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