So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
