so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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