it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
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I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
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You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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