What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
