I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it