I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.