Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
areolas are like halos for boobs.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch