I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize