I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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