I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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