hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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