I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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