I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
