I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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