Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
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I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
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My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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