I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.