You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight