i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.