I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.