She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors