a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.