Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition

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  (586): On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes (586): I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition http://tfl.nu/j099
  Replies (7) Good night (1442) Bad night (474)
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  (607): View more from New York

  So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...

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  (607): So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain... http://tfl.nu/8i34
  Replies (10) Good night (2113) Bad night (456) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.

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  (401): The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster. http://tfl.nu/0ncd
  Replies (16) Good night (1011) Bad night (4880) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.

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  (650): she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out. http://tfl.nu/w208
  Replies (17) Good night (1275) Bad night (8795) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs

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  (250): Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs http://tfl.nu/msvp
  Replies (10) Good night (975) Bad night (3411) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS

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  (609): And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS http://tfl.nu/9yrh
  Replies (17) Good night (1058) Bad night (4441) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.

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  (843): So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay. http://tfl.nu/5u6r
  Replies (10) Good night (4274) Bad night (706)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?

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  (856): I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right? http://tfl.nu/8yrh
  Replies (11) Good night (1275) Bad night (458) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.

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  (616): He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk. http://tfl.nu/c5ac
  Replies (4) Good night (442) Bad night (1181) Order T-Shirt
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point

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  (828): At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point http://tfl.nu/0f47
  Replies (3) Good night (623) Bad night (319) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight

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  (816): the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight http://tfl.nu/st8j
  Replies (3) Good night (1585) Bad night (191) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.

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  (678): I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please. http://tfl.nu/k3b6
  Replies (4) Good night (788) Bad night (450) Order T-Shirt
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.

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  (240): He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at. http://tfl.nu/i197
  Replies (5) Good night (551) Bad night (244) Order T-Shirt
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  (779): View more from Illinois

  I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs

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  (779): I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs http://tfl.nu/n819
  Replies (8) Good night (1934) Bad night (214) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.

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  (770): Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it. http://tfl.nu/r24g
  Replies (6) Good night (266) Bad night (545) Order T-Shirt

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