Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
