i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
