and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
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I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
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You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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