theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize