I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize