I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize