New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize