I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Randomize
