____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
You don't make any sense
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