It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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