I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
