she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
