i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
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