I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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