my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize