I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
