I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He better not be in your backpack
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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