also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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