Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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