i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just took my morning after pill in the library
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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