I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
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We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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