Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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