So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
